In the first part of the series, I took time to explain what rapport was, and how you will be able to build better relationships with it. In this part more on the inverse, and how body language, and incongruence can lead to bad or untrusting relationships. Congruency can almost be said to be a metric or how consistent you are with your self in your communication.
In most cases, when we think of communication we relate it to the words we say with our mouths, and maybe the tone of voice we use to say them. Many people never realize that their tone of voice, and their unconscious body language have a huge effect on the way that people respond. This because short of the words we say, the other channels are normally processed unconsciously. When we are incongruent, people tend to get a feeling that something isn’t quite right about us, or that we’re strange or weird.
If you didn’t do your homework from Part 1, you’ll may want to from this point on. I am designing it specifically to help you to be more aware of what is happening around you which will be crucial in developing strong rapport skills. If you did do it, think now about what you noticed. When people were communicating well, what feelings did you get from them? What was their body language like when you had this feeling? What about when they were communicating badly?
Now here’s your homework for Part 2. I want you to find the answers to the same questions as in Part 1 only this time while you are in conversation. Answer the same questions for the person you are speaking with. Are you confident? Are you nervous? How is that reflected in your body language? How is it reflected in your tone of voice? What about the speed of your voice? If you slow down your speech, what happens? If you speed it up what happens?
In Part 3 I will begin to explain how you can learn to build rapport. I hope to see you back!
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