Nearly three years ago, I found myself recently divorced, alone, and wanting to start dating again. Because of my social anxieties, I had very little experience meeting women. This period of time, while difficult for me, eventually became the catalyst for much of the learning and change I have made since. In the time that spans between then and now, I have had 3 serious relationships, and though I still have not found the right girl for me, I am confident that I will. During the next few minutes I will share with you how you can accomplish this as well.
Relationships can unfortunately be distilled into a single formula that actually isn't very flattering. Both people involved in the relationship must give equally to each other of the relationship. If either party stops giving, or takes too much, the other will not be happy and the relationship will begin to fail. With that we understand our role in the relationship before we can even attempt to succeed.
People often say that they want to feel needed in a relationship. While this may seem right, when we are really needed, we tend to get annoyed because the other person becomes needy. Consider this. Which statement makes you feel better? "Honey, I need you to go to the store and get milk." or "Honey, would you mind stopping at the store while your out to get milk?" Actually there are many feelings that neediness can generate in a relationship. Neediness can cause the other person to feel trapped, under valued, or like they're the one that does everything. If neither person is needy, both can happily give because they want to, not because they "have" to. In other words, a relationship will work best when both individuals are self-sufficient, independent, and self-confident.
While there isn't a way to know right off the bat if the people we meet are these things, each of us has the power to become these things ourselves. If you do put in the time and effort to do so, you'll not only be in a better position to succeed in a relationship, but you will also find it much easier to find dates in the first place. These are things you can, and will probably need to work on over time, but you don't have to wait to start dating. Now we just need to know where to go to find dates.
I have seen tons of forum posts where people ask where they should go and many articles that list places. In the end, only you know where you should look. There is no one place where everyone will find people they are compatible with. My advice to you is to stop looking for some magical place that does not exist. Get out, try new things, and do the things you love to do. It is in these places that you will have the best opportunity to find what you are looking for. These places are where you’re most confident, and that added confidence will show.
Now that you know how important it is to be un-needy and confident, and you know where to look for dates, you’re ready to get out and find that special someone. I wish you the best of luck. Now, get out and find your dream mate!
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