5 Tips for Improving Approach Anxiety

Many people suffer from approach anxiety and don't even know what it is. In fact, I struggled with mine for a long time before I had any clue what I was dealing with. Essentially, approach anxiety is a fear of approaching people you do or do not know to start or join a conversation. I read dozens of books trying to understand how I could lessen this fear, but nothing seemed to address and explain the exact fears I had.

Amazingly, it wasn't until I happened upon a group of pick-up artists that I discovered that what I was suffering from was called "approach anxiety" and started to learn what it was and how to deal with it. The techniques I'll present here employ a number of methodologies such as NLP which you will probably want to learn more about before attempting. Also, keep in mind that anything you do to alter the way you think or act can potentially be dangerous so you should always consult a professional counselor, psychologist or psychiatrist before attempting any of the tips I provide. The tips I provide are provided for entertainment purposes only and I will not be held responsible for any damages that may occur should you attempt them with or without the advice of a professional.

The Tips:

1. Learn to pay attention to your thoughts. In situations where we are uncomfortable, it often difficult to pay attention to or remember what we are thinking. As with most things, practicing this will make it easier. Start by practicing paying attention to your thoughts when you arn't uncomfortable. What is your mind telling you? What do you feel? How are you breathing? Getting in the habit of doing this when you are comfortable will make it more likely that you will think to do so when you arn't comfortable.
2. Break the pattern immediately before your anxiety begins. Once you are to a point where you are more generally aware of what you are thinking all of the time, you should be able to pay attention to the things you do (your state) right before you begin to experience your approach anxiety. Knowing when you begin to experience your approach anxiety and what you normally do at that time can allow you to break the pattern you normally follow and possibly reduce your anxiety. No matter what you normally do right before you feel the anxiety, force yourself to do something different. For instance, if you normally put your hands in your pocket, clap them together instead. This can work better sometimes if you do something empowering like clapping your hands, thrusting your fists towards the floor, or jump up.
3. Use NLP Techniques. I won't discuss specific techniques here because I havn't developed any of my own and I believe the authors of the books I learned the techniques from deserve their royalties. I will reccomend a few books at the end of this post which do a very good job of explaining the necessary techniques. It is important to note that none of the NLP techniques that I have found specifically target approach anxiety. Fortunately approach anxiety is essentially a phobia, and there are many approaches to helping phobias. Depending on what your Approach Anxiety (AA) stems from, one technique may work for you better than another. I must say that I definitely wouldn't reccomend passing over NLP. Of all of the tips that I reccomend, NLP offers the opportunity for the fastest change.
4. Talk to a Therapist. Therapists have of experience dealing with people with phobias and social issues. They can help you to understand the roots of your fears much more quickly than you could on your own.
5. Talk To People. After all you're trying to get rid of a fear of approaching people. Just say "Hi" to everyone you pass in the store or at work. Do this enough and saying "Hi" will just become natural. After that it may not be that hard to keep saying more.

Reccomended Reading