Tuesday, May 20, 2008

But I'm Shy

How many times have you heard someone say "I can't because I'm shy." or something similar? Personally, I have heard it a million times and there have been many times that that same phrase has come out of my own mouth. In reality this phrase is just a well accepted excuse that we use when we are scared of a social situation. Is there a difference between being shy and having a social anxiety? I don't think so.

In reality, being shy is our excuse to ourself to avoid entering into an uncomfortable social situation. It allows us to deny that our fears are unfounded, and comfortably hide behind a socially accepted term.

If being "Shy" is socially accepted, then isn't it ok?
This depends on how being shy affects you.

  1. Does it hold you back?
  2. Does it frustrate you?
  3. Does it prevent you from doing things that you should be able to do?
  4. Do you miss out on things because you are shy?
  5. Do you avoid finding a job because you're too "shy" to go to an interview?

If you answered yes to any of those, then I would have to say that it isn't ok. Your shyness is composed of social anxieties which you can learn to cope with should you choose. Too many times I have seen people, including myself, sit back and miss out on wonderful opportunities while hiding behind the shield of being "Shy." If you fit into that category, and you would like to change, you can. I have posted alot of information and tips on my blog pertaining different methods I have used to overcome some of my social anxieties. In addition to what I have here there are a number of sites, books, and other information available that can be invaluable in your search to conquer your shyness. In the Related Sites section of my site, I have posted links to a number of sites that you may find helpfull. In addition, you will find that I reccomend various books that I have read in some of my post.

2 comments:

Kim F. said...

Hi Andy,

This is an awesome blog. I too used to suffer from extreme shyness, but developed strategies to overcome it when I became a nurse. I had to because I was dying. As a nurse, you cannot afford to be shy! I developed an online course called, Goodbye to Shy (http://www.ed2go.com/courses/gbs) that is offered to over 1100 colleges and universities in the U.S., Canada, and Australia. I also have a free special report called 'Top 10 Secrets of Successfully Starting a Conversation' which is found at http://www.goodbyetoshy.com.

Just want to say thanks for providing some excellent information on the blog.

Kim F.

Andy said...

Hi Kim,

I'm glad to hear that that you like the information I am providing. I hope to provide much more as I continue to learn from myself.

Thank you for our comments

Andy