Social anxiety, dating, and the bar scene | Social anxiety disorder and everyday life

While I was checking my subscriptions this afternoon, I found this slightly disturbing post. It really struck a chord with me because it contains alot of the thoughts that I used to have about myself. The author was stating that he was looking to go outside of ordinary dating methods because he had been unable to successfully control his anxiety. The first thing I noticed was that nearly every paragraph contains at least 1 self-limiting belief, so I wanted to point out a few of them to give people a better idea of what self-limiting beliefs are. Later this week, I will write another post to explain how you can discover, and deal with your own self limiting beliefs.

Here is the article:
Social anxiety, dating, and the bar scene Social anxiety disorder and everyday life

And here are the things I wanted to point out:

"Don’t get me wrong, I’m sure it’s effective if you have the right personality and approach it in a positive way." - Here he is implying that he doesnt' have the right personality to approach dating in the way that most people do, mentally limiting himself to a smaller subset of methods that could work for him.

"Unfortunately, unless you have something going for you (looks, confidence, winning personality), there’s not much chance that you’ll meet anyone." - In this case he's going further, completely eliminating himself from being considered at all . Seriously, everyone has something going for them, you just need to learn what it is, and how to make it apparent. As for confidence, that is something you will build over time.

"It’s hardly the kind of place where a very average looking guy can have women approach him." - Ok, I may an average guy as well, but I have some very attractive friends who have never had a woman approach them. Most women don't approach men.

"But what really helps is that now I know it’s nothing to do with me personally. The problem lies in the way I project myself in public, how I view myself, and how I misinterpret people and situations." - Here he is resigning to the fact that this is just the way he is, and not accepting the fact that this is just the way he allows himself to continue to be. The big self-limiting belief here is "how I view myself" because this has a direct effect on how you project yourself in public, as well has how you interpret other people and situations.